The Spell of Shared Fingers
by John Roedel
I can't wait
for someone
to invent the
technology that
tells us when we
are holding hands with
somebody for the last time
the cruelest trick
of life is that it so
relentlessly temporary
I believe
that when we
hold hands we
are casting a spell
it's the magic
of making the
fluidity of our
existence feel
briefly static
it's the magic
of making the
fleeting present
feel like sticky taffy
caught on our tongue
when you
let me hold your
hand
it feels like we are pouring
maple syrup on every clock
in this world
hold on,
don't go,
let me explain
there is a
specific energy
that can only
come from
laced fingers
connection is everything
we came here for
togetherness is the
theme
of our lifetime
wrap your hand in mine
feel the
sunlight bursting through the gaps
of our tangled digits
you are loved
you are safe
you are here
I have you
you have me
this is our story
an epic tale
of holding on
to each other
as long as we
can
sending our Morse Code
love letters to each other
one quick hand squeeze at a time
as we walk into the dark forest
together
wait, keep listening
when I held
hands with you
on our
wedding day I
became a balloon
that you have tightly held on to
so I wouldn't ever float away
in my despair
you tied me
around your ring
finger and kept
me from getting lost
up into the church rafters
you hold
on to me
so tightly
still
keeping me from popping
I'm not done,
please
let me finish
when I held hands with
my children when they
were young I became a
foot taller and grew a
lion's mane
I held onto their
little hands so tightly
that I didn't ever notice
that they had grown so large
that they no longer needed
me to hold them anymore
then they let go
and I shrunk
and my mane
fell on the floor
and my hands
keep reaching for their
even though
are miles away
I can still feel the
phantom pains
of their absence
my hands remain open
in case they ever
need them again
or for when I need them
that reminds me...
when I held hands
with my parents on
their deathbed journey's
that were separated by
about 15 years
I could feel the piano music
of grace play silently
through our knotted
knuckles
it was our final
desperate duet that we
played together
before the angels
came through
the walls
the room was quiet
their breathing was fading
time was running short
so I held on to
them as long as I could
hands in hands
fingers between fingers
until the room grew still
and their lights rose to
rejoin the stars
I think that the most
important moments
of my life have all
happened when I
am holding hands with
somebody
we didn't come here
for cars
or for jobs
or for flush bank accounts
or for being right
or for winning wars
we came here to
hold hands
that's it
time is relentless
let's not waste
any more of it
blanket your hand
around mine
and let's watch
the sunrise
pulse against pulse
thumping against the thin
skin that separates us
until our heartbeats madly
kiss each other through
the veins in our wrists
hold my hand
all night
by candlelight
until our twisted fingers
cast their shadows on the
wall like puppets who
tell the story of how our
love endured
the fickleness of this life
hold my hand
until we cast
a spell
that keeps
us frozen
together in the
warm magic of
this moment
a sanctuary
of fingers between fingers
and pulses against pulses
a sacred tethering
between two hands
that were always
meant to find
each other
About the Author
John Roedel is a stand-up comic has published two books in the past year: "Hey God. Hey John. : What Happens When God Writes Back" & "Any Given Someday: The Poetry Of What Comes Next."