In town

there are these boutiques I drive past

every day.

They have beautiful clothes

for skinny people.

I think

if I lose weight

I could wear those.

The problem comes

trying to lose

something I never

looked for or wanted

in the first place.

It found me.

It keeps finding me

jumping on my back

in this perverse game

of Hide and You Can’t Escape.

‚Äč

I found the most weight

when I lost the babies.

I wanted them

but it doesn’t work like that.

Instead of holding infants

I held bags of chips.

The salt changed me

into an ocean

and I was full of empty.

I thought

if this happens

one more time

I will lose my mind.

I never found answers.

There was only the swell

and red tides on a clock.

I watched my belly grow

from Nothing.

Lost and Found

by Ellie Hudson

About the Author

Ellie Hudson has a bachelor’s in psychology from Meredith College. She lives in Kentucky with her best friend/husband and two wonderful sons. She has no social media, but she does have a ukulele. She has been previously published in The Rising Phoenix Review, Dying Dahlia Review, Selcouth Station, and is forthcoming in MUTHA Magazine.