by Janel Halenko

I can't tell the peanuts from almonds
the meat from the chickpeas
and quite frankly, my dear,
I never wanted to put that chocolate
to my lips

the taste of what I wanted
is washed away by the toothpaste
charcoal
forgotten like that time I forgot to close the door

I don't want the clothes to do the work
I want to be warm and cozy
naked
beside you,
you fool
can't you see I've lost my hair before you have?

I've been sedated by expectations
can't watch the screen anymore
pills and logic
memories and hope
take me by the hand and throw me into pillows

show me things that scare you
cry.

I think I'm going crazy
I think the walls have started hating me
the city has shrunk
and the bath he drew for me
will be the water I drown in